Well, this is the first time I have ever started one of these blog things. Everyone says its like an on line diary of sorts. But, to know me you need to see some of the things I have lived through. And I will tell you these things now.
I was three, when my mom and dad spilt up. Didn’t really understand it all at that age. My mom, got with someone not long after that. They were together for 11 eleven years, my mom and step-dad, and let me tell you, it was the worst 11 years I have ever known. You know, what it’s like to hear your own mothers whimpering voice in the middle of the night? You know the next day, what its like to see your own mom beat up? It’s not a pleasant sight, let me tell you that. Whenever she would say no, an argument would break out. And he would win by using the back of his hand, or even his fist. After 11 years, my mom actually had the courage to say no, and kicked him out. That was a good day. A few months later, she got with a man named Colin. He is a great bloke. Actually gives the love my mom has always needed. An honest man he is. They got married, after three or fours years together. Life, couldn’t be better.
Now, I go onto the course of love. I have only ever been through the experience of heartbreak once --- it’s not a very nice thing to see. I was in a blissful relationship for five years. Her name was Kirsty Charlesworth. I loved her, I was happy. Yet, disaster always strikes. She died, she drowned at a swimming pool. So after that my life was tipped upside down. I started drinking, heavily at that. I have been in such a state, I had no idea how I managed to walk home. I went through…A good five years or so, wasting my life away, still mourning the death of someone whom I loved so much. Then, came when I was introduced to the world wide web.
Yup. The internet. A place of many a different thing you can look at, or even read. So, I started making a myspace for myself, and started to play different sort of games online. One of them, was the World called Hollow. This game, actually pulled me away from the life that I have gotten into. And, I met someone on it. Yeah, lame right? I don’t think so. She captured me, and pulled me away from the gutter I had gotten myself into. She offered me her heart, and I offered mine. She is, what some can say my soul mate.
Now, everything has been crashing in front of me. My mother has gotten to the point she has to stop drinking, or she’ll end up knocking on a casket. My family is falling to pieces. My relationship with Katie is going pete tong right now. It’s rapidly falling into nothingness. Sometimes, I feel like I am carrying the world on my shoulders, and I only wish that someone, anyone would help me carry the weight.
That’s my life, in a nutshell. I have been looking at this vodka bottle for the past two hours. Want to know if I down it? You’ll have to ask me sometime, and I will give you the response you are asking for.
2 comments:
No, you won't drink that Vodka, because Jason, you are stronger than that. You've already been through more than most of us have, and that is character building, even though it doesn't seem like it at the minute. Yes, life feels crap, terrible, worthless, but you know what? It will keep going. The only choice you have is to make it better for yourself. Talk to those you can trust. It helps. And, failing all else, i'll bludgeon you into senselessness by hitting you with that bottle over the head... repeatedly! I've been told I have a strong arm, so, beware.
Jay..We've talked about this, and I am very glad you took my advice and dumped that bottle out. When I first met you, you had quit drinking, and that was about a year ago. You have come so far. Too far to let a silly chit of a girl ruin things for you. You know you can always talk to me.
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